I have been seeing a particular person for about seven months now, and last Sunday after we had dinner and was hanging out by the poolside at my place, he asked me to be his girlfriend.
In my earlier entries, way back in 2011, this particular person was referred to as Rim. I mentioned him then because of certain interesting conversations that we had. We were colleagues then, and took the same company-provided transport to and fro once every week.
We got to know each other well and even after he left the company, we kept in touch and sometimes met up for a meal. I appreciated him for being my constant source of encouragement, and he said that he liked that I was brutally honest with my comments about his faults while remaining constructive.
It wasn’t all rosy though, I suppose it’s because the deeper the relationship, even if it was just a friendship then, the more differences would surface. We had times where we argued, mostly over a lack of sensitivity on my part (seems like some sort of role reversal here), and we went through rough patches where we basically pulled away and did not speak to each other.
And then, exactly a year ago, he expressed his feelings for me. It was 19 August 2012, a Sunday, and also the first day of Hari Raya Puasa. Since it was a public holiday, I did not have to teach and so he and I attended the 5pm service at St. Andrew’s Cathedral. Thereafter, he sent me home. At some time after 9pm, I received a text message from him saying that he was still at my neighbourhood and wished to speak with me in person. Surprised and curious, I went to meet him and after talking for a bit, he finally said what he had meant to say.
My response wasn’t what he was hoping for but I promised him that I’d think about it.
One month after that night, following one lunch date and one dinner date, things took a turn. Rim slipped into busyness and we didn’t talk for the next three months.
I found myself missing him at times, but I wasn’t sure of my feelings. There were other people in the picture at this point and since I was either busy with work or distracted elsewhere, I easily disregarded the anger I was bearing towards him for disappearing.
But when my mom was diagnosed with a critical illness during this period, the feeling of abandonment was hard to ignore.
With that, many misunderstandings and quarrels ensued when we began talking again in January. It was only through God’s grace that we managed to work it out, because there’s no other way to explain how much I still trusted him despite all that happened. And he came to accept that I had the right and reason to seek support and comfort in another guy because he simply just wasn’t around during my time of need.
Falling in love with him was a much gradual one. It didn’t catch me up in a whirlwind of emotions, but I knew that I was very much dependent and attracted to him emotionally.
He has shown me what it is to be filled with hope, to leave all matters in the hands of our Heavenly Father and to jealously guard what He has given us. He has shown me patience, forgiveness and love.
He is someone I have always been comfortable around, someone whom I can talk about anything with. He is someone who isn’t afraid of my little anxious outbursts and the occasional outpouring of tears, someone who instead loves me for them and is able to handle them as they come along.
He is someone I can have long walks with, someone I can talk with for hours, and someone whom I can go to with prayer requests and for support. He has unknowingly become my best friend through our moments together.
So when he asked, my answer was yes.